Interview with Chrisitina Kahrl

Back this past Fall semester, Christina Kahrl came to SUNY Albany and spoke about baseball and her life as an out transsexual sports writer and activist. We had exchanged Facebooks afterward and recently I was given the pleasure to talk her more about those two subjects

Alexandra Stevens: First question is easy, what’s your earliest memory of baseball?

Christina Kahrl: Actually, it's sort of funny, because I'd be hard-pressed to say, considering that could involve playing, watching games on TV, scanning box scores, listening on the radio, or seeing games live. If I had to nominate anything, it would probably be seeing my brother playing Little League would be my best guess.

A.S: So I guess it be a stretch to ask you what type of impression did it had on you?

C.K: Sort of "Bad News Bears" but without the swearing.

A.S:  Has that impression of baseball changed over the years? Maybe change isn't the right way to phrase it. Has it evolved as you've grown older?

C.K: My love for the game has certainly evolved over time, from youthful enthusiasm and digesting a daily box score, to the desperately stupid certainty that I knew everything by the time I was 19, to the dawning realization that I know a thimbleful of an ocean's worth of knowledge as time passed.

AS: Now how did the idea for Baseball Prospectus come about? Was more from a business stand point of a way to make money or just a pure love of the game?

C.K: I'd been diving into reading the usenet discussion group rec.sport.baseball (back in the days before the web), where I met many of my future colleagues and argued (or, in my case, kidded around quite a bit) about baseball. When Gary Huckabay decided to form a team to write the book, the goal was to write the book we wanted to read--we'd all gone to college and read the Bill James annuals in the '80s, and James had shuffled off into semi-retirement. We missed the combination of analysis and humor, and in our hubris, we figured we'd give it a spin.

A.S: In the beginning, was there ever a moment that you just wanted to fold your cards and give up?

C.K: No, there was not. The first book was terrible, and we're extremely grateful to the 300 people who got them, but we took that as inspiration to do better the next time.

A.S: Has Baseball Prospectus evolved over the years to match new media outlets?

C.K: Absolutely. We started out as a book project that saw the website (launched in '96 as well) as a way to promote the book. Now the website is the dog wagging the tail, although we've spun off and will continue to spin off book projects beyond the annual.

A.S: Now, this may seem a little out of left field, but how did your colleagues take to the transitioning process?

C.K: Confused and surprised, of course, because for just about everybody, this was the first time they'd ever had to deal with such a thing within their own cohort. Naturally, there was a lot of concern initially, but we worked together on treating it as a low-key personnel matter, and that gave us plenty of time to adapt and adjust. It's what I'd refer to as "the logistics of life": manage it with the people who matter in your life, and you're well-equipped to deal with the other, inevitable challenges.

A.S: Was there any backlash at the time or was it welcomed with open arms? I mean, as the stereotype goes, people interested in sports tend to not handle these type of things to well.

C.K: As far as policy, it was handled exceptionally well; that's not to say individual people didn't struggle, but you can't rush or demand acceptance, especially coming from a position of my own ignorance--it wasn't like I'd gone through this before myself. I devoted a lot of time up front to planning, and I committed myself to spending as much time as it took to explain, to be patient, and to avoid taking too-easy offense towards a lot of questions. People are curious and don't know a lot about transgender men and women; I took it as a matter of course that the best way to deal with this was to accept that there would be a lot of teaching moments.

AS: That is good to hear. May I ask what the transition process was like for you? Were there any points where you felt it may not be worth it?

CK: Surprisingly perhaps, no. For me, after so many years of deliberation and fear, it really boiled down to picking between guaranteed unhappiness--not making the attempt to transition--and the unknown. This was the one detail of my existence that needed fixing; ignoring it, ignoring myself, was self-destructive. Acting on it was and remains the best thing I ever did as far as securing my happiness.

A.S: That is very reassuring for me to here as a fellow transsexual who is about start my own transitioning process. What has made you want to work in LGBTQ rights?

C.K: Well, as far as the reassurance, I guess the point is this: there's a lot of understandable concern that this can be a self-destructive course, especially in light of a higher-than-average suicide rate among trans folks. Basically, transition is about correcting one important aspect of yourself, but it doesn't mean you should expect that the liberation of transition liberates you from your day-to-day life. It's not about escape, but integration: you're self-integrating into the existence you've had to live so far. Getting your gender identity sorted out is at the roots of happiness, but it's not a guarantee.

As far as working in the community, I guess what I see is the same need for that integrationist impulse. I am trans, but that's in the same way that I am part of my family, or I am an American, or I am a baseball fan for that matter: these are fundamental to my identity, but not separate. It's important for trans people to work on LGBT causes--especially if we want full-rainbow support of trans-specific issues--in the way that it's important for any citizen to be engaged in our democracy.

When you belong to a minority within a minority, as you and I do, a basic challenge is engage people. Most are operating from a basic level of ignorance about trans folk; that doesn't make us alien, just different and unusual. I take getting involved as a matter of guaranteeing that trans Americans get the full benefit of the achievement of full citizenship for LGBT Americans. The vision of the Founders, of a basic equality derived from ourselves, not our institutions or our rulers, has been expanded to include people of color and women. I see the achievement of full inclusion for LGBT folk as the final exaltation of the Founders' vision, of achieving the all-inclusive majority that ought to be covered by any concept of freedom in our republic if it is to fulfill its best possible definition.

For more of Christina Kahrl, visit her blog Transaction Action. For more about Baseball Prospectus click here.